You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
