Buhtt sex?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
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She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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