We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
