I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
