About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
