Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
