Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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