Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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