I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
