we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
