He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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