i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
