he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
