She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
