So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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