i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
