I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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