So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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