Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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