How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Randomize
