I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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