This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
