Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize