somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There's always time for handjobs
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
