bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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