If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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