Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
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