You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
