he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
