p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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