I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
