Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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