one might say we're banned from that church
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
