I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
