You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
