There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
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i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
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I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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