I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's blow job season.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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