I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ugly people sure do ruin things
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
