There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
