I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
