im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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