I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
