i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
