mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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