Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
