Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We don't watch enough power rangers
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
