is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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