Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
