Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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