No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
