if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
