3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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