She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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