its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
