my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
