If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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