you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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