My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
they're like a gay fantastic four
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
