I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
