I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
3 2 1 whiskey
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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