dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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