At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
