he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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